PnP: Stop...Hammer Time!

Once upon a time in the merry little world of Gythium where seemingly no wars were fought at all, there was an alliance called War Hammer. War Hammer was one of the few alliances actually bothering to fight. They were on a rampage and conquering everyone and everything in its path. Quickly downing or politically denutting some of the top alliance leaders early on. They assembled a top team and were dominating the north of Gythium.

All seemed to be going according to plan...and then it happened. The coalition formed. Dun Dun Dun? War Hammer was so paralyzed with fear that it had no idea what to do.

*The following is a testimony from an anonymous player whose identity you will never guess*

[1:52:16 AM] Old Fish: I'm nothing but a peaceful fish. I actually just like to hug ships and troops
[1:52:20 AM] Old Fish: for some reason they break
[1:52:22 AM] Old Fish: :(


Well, unlike most of these teams simming away and playing hugs all day, fighting is in our blood...and our somewhat MRAish name. ;) But none of this is important to you probably. What you're all wondering is who this coalition of brave simmers are! Behold!

The Rebellion...


The were rebelling against...SOMEONE...SOMETHING! But for story's sake we'll just say it was us. The Rebels were a bunch of up tight, boring, prudes. All of whom wanted nothing to do with War Hammer's shenanigans and conquests. They wanted to build cities, let WH do all the work in a war and take credit for it, then try to offer random city swap deals that would force WH to take on The Rebellion's fights. Naturally, we told this cowardly alliance to go pound sand. After a lot of crying and transfer requests war were declared.

The Rebellion wasted no time in finding help as they knew that they were doomed from the start. So they enlisted some of the best alliances in Gythium (sadly this is not a joke).

The Fire Nation


Now War Hammer started to feel the heat. ;) What we would do against an alliance like them? How would we survive against the might of the fir-



Annnnd its gone...Well I guess you could say that we dumped our "load" on them huh? ;) Of course that wasn't all! They had much more fearful allies than some noob MRA.

Tiger



This image is actually fitting, at first we thought that they would do alright as they were apparently putting up an okay fight with TSS. But since then they've been chowing down on frosted flakes at the victory party and are too preoccupied to actually be bothered to do anything....Except that CS attempt. But i'm pretty sure that was a joke or something. At least I hope it was, because we found it hilarious. But the biggest scare has yet to be revealed!

ILLUMINATI



The world's most powerful organization comes to Gythium! Oh lord am I trembling. That or they come from the metro Detroit area and actually believe that this organization exists. I'm leaning more on the second but either way they aren't exactly what we would call terrifying. Last but certainly not least, okay probably least, we have the most threatening alliance(s) of all.

The Imperial Alphas/Guardians/ Order

We actually don't know anything about these alliances, nor do we care. So here's a picture of Invader Zim :)



There we have it, the epic show down in the north. How will War Hammer handle this pressure from these obvious pros? Will out Fishy friend ever stop breaking those ships when he tries to hug them? Will Princess Juneta make a comeback this week? Will The Smilodon Fatalis ever find true love? Will someone else please do something note worthy so we can stop talking about ourselves? Only time will tell.

Disclaimer: This is my first PnP since like summer, so please be gentle. Except TR, Fire Nation, ILLUMINATI, Tiger, and the Imperial Whoevers. Please get as rough as possible while you can, because we'll be putting ya down soon enough. 8-0 and rising boys, better get it together. Oh and don't try to drop out or run, you're already on the list, you've thought about doing it and committed, so you're not getting out of it. :)
 
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UPDATE

Apparently, ILLUMINATI, has pulled out and is begging for a pact. Our official reply, sorry you aren't out of this and we won't even bother considering a pact with you for the reason listed below.

Also, Tiger players, your ally, ILLUMINATI, admitted that they only pacted you guys to absorb your players and towns because they think you'll lose to us. So that whole pact was basically to capitalize off your weakness. The pact with us was suggested in order to eliminate repercussions from such actions, I guess.

Bend & Amirashah, where are ya? Its like a high school class room in the north! Lots of talk, tons of drama, and a little bit of action.
 
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The Candyman

Senior Citizen
Talk down all of us all you want, I do not plan on losing this war. We may have a lower average, less gold users, but we will catch you, just wait.
 
Off to a bad start. One of your allies is ready to turn on you, the other is decent I admit, the other three have yet to send an attack, the last is losing to a series of alliances in expansion.

But being fair. Shout out to TR, they are giving it their all and have put up an okay fight. Its not a huge challenge, but there's definitely more commitment here than with many of our past enemies.
 
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Liquid Gold

Citizen
Talk down all of us all you want, I do not plan on losing this war. We may have a lower average, less gold users, but we will catch you, just wait.
Hey buddy don t take it personnal, he is just having fun. I don t think he wants to be rude. Just he has a journalist spirit :))
 
Hey, I said you're putting up a spirited fight. I won't say good. But you're trying right? Kinda? Sorta. I mean you're sure picking on that one city player at an alright rate. Won't take his town but still. :)
 

Veshi

Guest
This was too funny, and I am currently in one of those alliances that you plan to destroy, some day, but it was still funny.

-Veshi-
The Fire Nation
 

sparksgreg

Guest
Im with TR and this would be a difrent fight if u guys hadent taken in all our cowards. we have sufferd from players having no back bone but now that most of them have already ran away this fight will get interesting because we seem to be down to the real fighters now
 

R.H.Stogus

Guest
Look bud, WH the real alliance, their average is doubling TR's average and look they even got a significant more ABP...TR needs to learn how to turtle man, so they wouldn't be crying when CS lands in their harbor.
 

sparksgreg

Guest
We wont be consumed by our petty differences any more. We will be united in our common interest. Perhaps it's fate that we are called the Rebellion, we will once again be fighting for our freedom. Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution, but from annihilation. We're fighting for our right to live, to exist�and should we win the war, the Rebellion will no longer be known as an average alliance, but as the alliance that stood up and declared in one voice, 'We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! We're going to live on, we're going to survive.' Today we celebrate our VICTORY!"
 

Paul S.

Guest
^ Great references to Independence Day! :D

However, trust me SPG, your alliance is doing a LOT better than most who have been fought against.
 

sparksgreg

Guest
nice catch we are trying and will countinue to fight this is my first world and i feel im learning quick
 
Im with TR and this would be a difrent fight if u guys hadent taken in all our cowards. we have sufferd from players having no back bone but now that most of them have already ran away this fight will get interesting because we seem to be down to the real fighters now
You call the players who actually did anything your cowards? They are more sympathetic towards some of TR than I am. You still suffer from players with no backbone, sorry but when has Candyman organized any kind of offensive on a city of significance from us? When have you guys tried to fight us, I mean really fight us, send 10-15 CSes at once and make us sweat a bit. Unless you guys do anything of note, then the fight will never get interesting.
 

sparksgreg

Guest
Only time will tell. its to early for you to think this is over
 

The Candyman

Senior Citizen
Oh don't worry, we have no spies in your alliance, order the spies out of my alliance and than you will see our CS's, so many your alliance will not know what to do, it takes all the fun out of it if you guys know where we are going to hit before we even send the attacks. You want a "fight" remove the spies, and we will have a "fight". It will be a real war.